Community In Lockdown

Times are interesting in the world at present, and these strange times have come at an already strange time for Golem. After almost 8 years existing only in our present house, in February we bought a second just across the road. The plan was for three of our existing members to move to the new house and for us to then look to fill the empty rooms in each, spreading the huge amount of knowledge we have as a group between the two houses and enabling some existing co-op members to move into spaces more suited for them. This would take us from housing 8 to housing 14 people (plus a dog, a cat and a business too).

It was a great plan which I firmly believed would work - but even then I had a lot of trepidation. Firstly I would be losing three housemates I’d lived with for between 2 and 12 years. They are my family and it was hard not to feel a sense of loss even though they were only moving across the road! I was also concerned about whether we would fill so many rooms at once. But I was also excited about the growth of the co-op, a project I have invested so much time and energy into, and I was looking forward to the injection of new people with their own ideas about how things should be done. Community is about being open to change and welcoming to compromise. Having such a large amount of new people joining at once felt like an amazing opportunity to invigorate Golem, ensuring it continued to grow and thrive.

The existing members thought a lot about how we would keep a sense of community and continuity between the two houses. How we would still eat together weekly, share meetings and work. It was important to us all to keep the culture of the co-op as well as forming new cultures in our respective houses. It also felt important to me to keep those relationships I had lived with for so long whilst enjoying forging new ones with the people I would not be living with.

And then, what felt like such a short time after having the keys to the new house, we were torn asunder. All those careful plans for how we would stay in each other’s lives on a daily basis put to one side for an unknown time by lockdown. No communal meals, no meetings at each other’s houses, no popping over to see what work has been done or needs doing, no lending a hand. The sudden break felt brutal.

As well as that, just before lockdown we welcomed two new housemates to the house I live in. Barely any time after they’d got their stuff through the door, this house became their world and the people in it the main people they could see in person. I cannot imagine going through such an enormous change but they have dealt with it amazingly. At the start of lockdown we also offered our spare room to a friend so they were not alone, and so in a matter of weeks we went from eight to five to eight again.

I’ve been missing the people who moved to the new house hugely (though we still say hello over the garden wall it is just not the same) but I'm also relishing the chance to bond as a household in such interesting times. At first I was concerned about how difficult it might be to fit our lives - and the challenging emotions that seem to go with lockdown - into the house. 8 people living in one house is busy even when everyone has a life outside! But what I have experienced has filled me with delight and a sense of calm and stability at home which would normally have taken a much longer time to develop when new members move in.

After 5 weeks or so of lockdown, the sense of being tuned in to each other’s moods and energy levels is strong, and seeing the tides of introversion and extroversion sweep through the house is fascinating. There have been times where we have all been doing things together (music, crafts, Tiger King!), times when everyone has kept themselves to themselves, and times when we have naturally come together to do different things in the same room at the same time. I treasure every shift, watching the rhythms of the new household emerge. There is energy being lavished on the garden, much thought going in to changes we wish to make to the communal areas to suit our new incarnation, and most importantly love and support growing between us. I am reminded every day of why living in community is so important to me, especially as I cannot be with so many of the other people I care most about.

When lockdown ends, there will be a new normal to create. I cannot wait to see what changes the other house have made, what new culture they have forged together, what plans they have made, how settled in they must now be. I can’t wait for us to share help and support and meals and meetings in person again - and hugs of course! But in the meantime I am relishing the chance to immerse myself in my household community, getting to know people on a level it could otherwise have taken years to achieve.

Community is always important to us all whether we recognise it or not. To me it seems like lockdown throws our need for it into stark relief, for many people bringing a desire for more of it in their day-to-day. What it has brought home to me is that community needs time, patience and compassion to develop. Lockdown has proved the perfect time to practice those things and I am, in a strange way, grateful.

- Hannah